Toxic shame has its own neurobiology. The gospel offers a cure.

A review of The Soul of Shame by Curt Thompson, MD

Curt Thompson’s The Soul of Shame: Retelling the Stories We Believe About Ourselves (IVP, 2015) addresses the pathology of toxic shame and its cure. Thompson writes as a board-certified psychiatrist and Christian. He is the founder of the Center for Being Known LLC.

Thompson often refers to a field called interpersonal neurobiology or IPNB. Thompson’s 2010 book, Anatomy of the Soul: Surprising Connections between Neuroscience and Spiritual Practices That Can Transform Your Life and Relationships (Tyndale, 2010), thoroughly explores the overlap between interpersonal neurobiology and Christian spiritual formation.

The distinguishing feature of The Soul of Shame is that it specifically addresses the neurobiology of shame. Thompson offers a hopeful process of how toxic shame can be cured through thinking biblically, Christian community, Christian disciplines, and therapy.

Thompson describes nine “domains of the mind” based on Daniel Siegel’s The Developing Mind. These nine domains are: 1) Consciousness, 2) Vertical, 3) Horizontal, 4) Memory, 5) Narrative, 6) State, 7) Interpersonal, 8) Temporal, and 9) Transpirational.[1] Thompson offers a brief description of each; he describes how these various domains of the mind must work together in an integrated way for human flourishing. It is fascinating to learn of these dimensions of thinking and the complexity of the human mind.

Thompson describes the inseparable link between mental/emotional health and the biochemistry of the mind:

[T]he mind is as relational as it is embodied. By this I mean that the very emergence of the mind’s capacity to do what it does is crucially dependent on the presence of relationships. From the day we enter the world, our neurons are firing not only out of the depths of genetically influenced patterns but also in response to the myriad of social interactions we sense and perceive when we encounter other people. … In this way, our relational interactions can actually influence our lives at the most basic biological level. Thus, the way our neurological system wires its responses to various emotional experiences is significantly influenced by the relational contexts in which those emotions arise. This means that the “nature versus nurture” boundary is illusory when it comes to the mind.[2]

Dr. Thompson then speaks of the “neurobiological energy” of the mind.

The task of the mind, in terms of what we witness scientifically that it does most effectively (and not from a theological perspective), is to regulate the flow of energy and information. Energy refers to the literal electrochemical communication from neuron to neuron. And information refers to those meaningful perceptions, whether conscious or unconscious, that are coursing through our lives at every moment, that are correlated with that very neurobiological energy.[3]

Then, one of the key points of the book:

Shame has a tendency to disrupt this process of “regulating the flow of energy and information” by effectively disconnecting various functions of the mind from one another, leaving each domain of the mind cut off from one another as we feel ourselves to be disconnected from other people.[4]

In other words, there is a biological correspondence between toxic shame and the brain. When we speak of shame, brokenness, rejection, exclusion, “the fear of disconnection,” the science of interpersonal neurobiology or IPNB shows that there is an observable pathology of disconnection in the brain.

Bad news and good news

The bad news is that shame is stubborn. Shame is not easily remedied. Through case histories from his practice as a psychiatrist, Thompson gets into the debilitating and largely involuntary nature of toxic shame on the human soul.

In light of the interpersonal neurobiology of shame, we learn that this makes sense. The brain is literally wired by the relative health, unhealth or destructiveness of human relationships and experiences which often go back to childhood. These experiences are foundational, core to our identity as humans. It is difficult to undo the foundation.

But Thompson delivers resounding good news, too. The good news is this: Our brains can literally be rewired by healthy practices. Those practices are biblically informed—Christian fellowship, bearing one another’s burdens, confession of sin, loving and accepting one another in authentic relationships. And yes, vulnerability with mature believers who love and accept you. After a case history describing the healing process of a patient he calls Natalie, Thompson writes: “Her shame required a community to realize the fullness of its healing.” Beautiful.

Healing inside of a Story

Perhaps most important is the belief that we are inside of a story of healing and redemption. This also informs our identity. Hence, Thompson’s emphasis on “retelling the stories we believe about ourselves.” He has two chapters on the significance of story: “The Story of Shame You Are Living” and “Shame and the Biblical Narrative.”

In these chapters, Thompson offers excellent applications of theology and the gospel to the problem of toxic shame. As followers of Jesus Christ, we are inside of a grand narrative—the story of a good and loving God who is working all things together for good (Rom 8:28)—through a good and loving kingdom-community whose central focus is relationship with Jesus Christ.

Thompson describes the healing power of living in God’s Story—engaging in biblical reflection, Christian disciplines, and healthy community. These behaviors starve the ever-present ‘shame monster’ (Thompson calls this our “shame attendant”) of his power—which at the same time keeps our minds healthy and integrated.

Excising shame from the organization

The final chapter of the book, “Renewing Vocational Creativity,” speaks to the mission and calling of believers inside of companies, institutions, and the church. Thompson explores healing for shame at the organizational level. Here’s a quote:

We cannot thrive on our own. In the same way, IPNB suggests that the mind must function as an integrated whole—differentiated functional parts: attention, memory, emotion, attachment—flexibly linked together. We cannot form the soul of our company, church, school or family well if we fail to see them in this light. Shame’s mission is to disintegrate all institutions in the same way it intends to disintegrate individuals, and isolation is no small part of its tactical arsenal.

… There is no “Jesus and me” option. There is only “Jesus and us.”[5]

Commenting on Paul’s analogy about the human body and the health of the church (1 Cor 12:15–23), Thompson helpfully writes:

But beyond our tendency toward judging others, Paul makes an even more extraordinary statement, especially for his time. He suggests that the weaker parts are indispensable, and that the less honorable parts are to be treated with more honor (vv. 22–23). These “weaker” and “less honorable” elements are understood to carry the weight of shame in that culture. They would normally be seen as disposable, contemptible and worthy of abandonment. But quite counterintuitively, as our IPNB models would also reflect, Paul turns the tables on shame, indicating that the body benefits when it’s fit and vital parts turn their attention to the more vulnerable parts, seeking them out to create space for them to contribute “indispensably” to the overall health of the body. To flourish, a mind or a community must turn its attention to where shame is hiding in order to create space for even greater growth, even in the way Jesus moves from his place in heaven to join us (Philippians 2:5–8).[6]

I find this compelling. Not only is this needful for the organizations and local churches in which we serve. This is vital for cross-cultural partnerships and collaborative efforts that are now widespread in the world Christian movement.

Finally, below is a listing of the chapters in The Soul of Shame.

  1. Our Problem with Shame
  2. How Shame Targets the Mind
  3. Joy, Shame and the Brain
  4. The Story of Shame You Are Living
  5. Shame and the Biblical Narrative
  6. Shame’s Remedy: Vulnerability
  7. Our Healing Cloud of Witnesses
  8. Redeeming Shame in Our Nurturing Communities
  9. Renewing Vocational Creativity

Curt Thompson has given us a wonderful resource on the healing of shame. He integrates recent advances in brain science—with evangelical Christian theology and practice. I found The Soul of Shame insightful, encouraging, and practical.

Videos: You can watch Curt Thompson teaching his material on several videos. Click here for a selection.


FOOTNOTES
1. Curt Thompson, The Soul of Shame: Retelling the Stories We Believe About Ourselves (Downers Grove: InterVarsity Press, 2015), 42–44.

2. Ibid., 40.

3. Ibid.

4. Ibid.

5. Ibid., 173–4.

6. Ibid., 175.

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