I received this email note today from Marilyn Nasman, a fellow-learner in The Beauty of Partnership. Marilyn has been involved in a cross-cultural partnership in Kenya for several years. Her email was a real blessing to me. God is faithful and God is good!
Dear Werner,
Thank you for your note. I am just finishing the “Listening” section. My, the richness of this material is just down right impressive. It couldn’t be more appropriate for me and the current project in Kenya. Kitty does not return until October 4th. Our team here in Friday Harbor meets each week to pray for her as a group and ask for God’s guidance as we go forward. Every week I am able to use some part of The Beauty of Partnership material as we tackle issues that come up or gain insights into the dynamics of what is occurring.
When I taught Aviation Ground School years ago one of the FAA manuals contained a phrase that said, “… there must be time and opportunity for perceptions to occur.” That is what I am finding with my slower progress, I need time and opportunity for perceptions to occur. I don’t think this material would be nearly as dynamic and powerful for me if I wasn’t knee deep in the practical application! It is just perfect timing and dead on target!
In re-reading Elmer’s book this morning he talks about tolerating ambiguity as one of the skills of Openness. I thought again of the sailboat caught in mixed currents with no clear cut wind or direction. We just go back, forth, and sideways for awhile. Eventually forces outside the boat take command and a course can be plotted but there are many times when confusion and ambiguity just exist. “Wait upon the Lord” comes to mind. This study is recalibrating my spiritual walk … and that is a very good thing.
Thank you again for the dedication, passion and experience that brought this material into reality.
Marilyn Nasman
Friday Harbor, Washington
Thanks, Marilyn, for your encouraging words! Praise God from whom all blessings flow! -Werner
Godly character, cultural intelligence, and organizational competence are the three inter-related categories of competence for people and ministries to have healthy cross-cultural partnerships. Growth in one arena usually impacts growth in the others. Likewise, deficits in one arena can also affect the others.
Here’s how we define these three categories or arenas:
1. GODLY CHARACTER means … following humbly our Lord Jesus Christ for the glory of God. At its core, godly character is—humility.
2. CULTURAL INTELLIGENCE (CQ) means … understanding deeply our diversity and unity for the glory of God. At its core, cultural intelligence is—deep understanding.
3. ORGANIZATIONAL COMPETENCE means … practicing wisely the art and science of partnership for the glory of God. At its core, organizational competence is—wise practice.
You can evaluate the health of a cross-cultural partnership by considering the three-legged stool. You need strength in all three “legs”—godly character, cultural intelligence, and organizational competence—for a healthy partnership. If the partnership is wobbly, at least one of the legs of the stool is weak or broken.
Evaluations are often made by asking questions; here are a few suggestions to help you get started:
GODLY CHARACTER: Does a lack of humility—a lack of Christlike servanthood—characterize the relationship or the key leaders on either side of the partnership? How much time are you devoting to slow, deliberate, empathic listening inside of the partnership? Note: Pride can be easy to recognize in others; it is harder to see in yourself.
CULTURAL INTELLIGENCE: Is there a lack of cultural intelligence—a deficit in awareness of the worldview or cultural values of the other party, or of the key leaders on either side of the partnership? Does this contribute to a lack of trust—or an unwillingness to make necessary adjustments in expectations or behavior? Note: Without training in cultural intelligence, this is very difficult to answer.
ORGANIZATIONAL COMPETENCE: Is there a vision for this partnership? Is there an alliance champion or ambassador with true collaboration skills? Is there a clear understanding of what is expected regarding reports, accountability, and protocol—from all sides of the partnership? Note: As with godly character and cultural intelligence, the wise practices that comprise organizational competence are, ideally, an ever-evolving process of growth on all sides of the partnership.
At Mission ONE, we have developed The Beauty of Partnership to equip Christian entrepreneurial leaders for a learning journey by which they not only gain much new knowledge, but also gain the skills and attitudes that are simply vital for healthy cross-cultural partnership. A weekend seminar will not give you the deep understanding and behavioral change necessary. That’s why it is a twelve-week missional learning journey.
At Mission ONE, we have a passion for equipping Christian entrepreneurial leaders for cross-cultural partnership. That is the main reason why this site exists. Would you like to join the journey? Write to me, Werner Mischke, at werner@mission1.org.
How does a partnership facilitator listen? Here are twelve things to look for in a cross-cultural partnership facilitator relative to listening.
1. Good cross-cultural partnership facilitators pray much before engaging in conversation with their indigenous ministry partners; they have a habit of asking God to give them “ears to hear.” Because of this habit, they have a lifestyle of listening. This may also be called “walking with God.”
2. Good cross-cultural partnership facilitators are comfortable listening to others; they’re skilled at asking questions—to learn, understand, and build trust. They are able to hear with their heart.
3. Good cross-cultural partnership facilitators are generally quiet; they’re not talkative people who need to get recognition for their every point of view. Beware of talkative people; they make bad partnership facilitators for one reason: they are not good at listening. Loud Americans and westerners are unsightly and ineffective in cross-cultural partnership settings.
4. Good cross-cultural partnership facilitators are skilled at “drawing out” and listening to the dreams of others, then reflecting back to them what they heard to make sure everyone understands.
5. Good cross-cultural partnership facilitators enjoy helping their indigenous ministry partner’s dreams come true. They are happy when others get credit for ministry accomplishments. This joy fuels their interest in others and their ability to truly listen.
6. Good cross-cultural partnership facilitators are able to suspend judgment when faced with thorny situations; they do not rush to judgment; they are not rash. They are willing to give the benefit of the doubt, especially because significant cultural distance can so easily create misunderstanding. At the same time, they are able to wisely and lovingly ask difficult questions when a situation requires it.
7. Good cross-cultural partnership facilitators are generous about their time—they’re willing to take the time to sort through all the issues and gain a hearing from all sides. Good listening requires patience.
8. Good cross-cultural partnership facilitators have invested in cultivating their own cultural intelligence (CQ). They are comfortable with various cultural dynamics such as direct versus indirect communications styles and can adjust accordingly. This makes them at ease; they are able to listen and converse skillfully in diverse settings.
9. Good cross-cultural partnership facilitators are effective at networking and mobilizing resources to pursue an agreed-upon vision. They also know that financial resources are not nearly as valuable as human resources.
10. Good cross-cultural partnership facilitators are able to recognize the value of modern business principles, while never making them idols that drive Christian mission. They see modern management methods as helpful, but not nearly as vital and catalytic as listening to God and to others, “hearing with your heart.”
11. Good cross-cultural partnership facilitators are Christ-centered. They live out an “abiding-in-Christ lifestyle” that allows them to value all people as sacred, and are committed to relational integrity above task-driven, numbers-oriented objectives. Christ himself is at the heart of their listening skills.
12. Good cross-cultural partnership facilitators know that partnership is not so much a rational enterprise as a heart-to-heart community in the body of Christ; nevertheless, their “listening lifestyle” is in balance with a strong work ethic by which they pursue a partnership ministry vision of great deeds for the glory of God.
This is a third post about the value of listening skills in cross-cultural partnerships. The first was Slow down: listen with your heart, featuring the video “Alan & Pauly Heller: On Listening.” Yesterday’s post was “Thank you, Mission ONE team, that you have blessed us”—these two posts are connected by the fact that Alan & Pauly Heller taught their listening workshop at the Mission ONE-sponsored marriage retreat in Thailand in March.
Today, I want to make some observations about the words of Jesus used in the title of this post. I recognize that in the context of Matthew 11:15, Jesus is referencing the need of the people in his immediate context to hear—specifically to hear his teachings in that setting. At the same time, I believe that in this short verse, Jesus is teaching something universal about our nature as human beings concerning our basic ability to hear God; Jesus is addressing our usually ironclad disposition of being hard ofhearing. Below is my meditation on these words of our Lord Jesus Christ …
“He who has ears to hear, let him hear.” (Matthew 11:15)
1. Hearing comes from within. Hearing with your heart is a self-motivated behavior. A person can look like he or she is listening—despite the fact that their heart is far away. We all know when someone is physically present, but emotionally and spiritually distant. Jesus recognizes the freedom of conscience in the act of listening; he realizes that the turning of one’s attention away from self to another person is a free, deliberate action of one’s interior mind, heart and soul. It’s as though Jesus is saying to me: “Hey, Werner, you have two ears, yes? Well then, why don’t you let Werner know—the Werner deep inside—that he can go ahead and begin to truly listen.” Could it be that Jesus is telling me, that I must tell myself in an act of deep self-awareness, “Hey me … Stop being distracted by empty activity and superficiality. Slow down. You have two ears; reconnect your ears to your heart. Just … listen. Listen to God. Listen to His Word. Listen to the Spirit dwelling within. Listen to your spouse. Listen to your children, your neighbor, your co-worker. Listen to your conscience. Embrace silence, and hear. Be present to The Person and the persons around you. Honor their sacred lives by being completely present in their presence.”
2. Being hard of hearing is part of the sin nature. Jesus said, “He who has ears to hear, let him hear.” Jesus is using sarcasm to point out the reality that even though everyone has two ears, no one is truly listening! This speaks of the depravity of man, “as it is written: None is righteous, no, not one” (Rom. 3:10) … “For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God” (Rom. 3:23). Could it be that one great result of the Fall is the refusal to listen to God along with the chronic disease of being hard of hearing?
3. By God’s grace, everyone has the possibility of keen hearing. Jesus said, “He who has ears to hear, let him hear.” Everyone has two ears … but practically no one is truly listening. Nevertheless, anyone CAN hear because they do have two ears! This speaks of the wideness of God’s grace and mercy: “And the Spirit and the bride say, ‘Come!’ And let him who hears say, ‘Come!’ And let him who thirsts come. Whoever desires [whoever!], let him take the water of life freely” (Revelation 22:17 NKJV). Could it be that one of the confirmations of our new life in Christ is the ability to listen to God along with the desire to truly listen to the people around us?
4. Everyone is fully designed to be able to hear well. “He who has ears to hear, let him hear.” What? Do only some people have ears? No! Everyone has ears. Everyone has the necessary “equipment” to truly hear the Lord and to truly hear people. And through Christ, what once was burdensome (hearing God and obeying Him) now may become light and easy. With His spirit inside of us, we truly can listen to God, we truly can hear our Shepherd’s voice. With the nature of Christ merged with our own, we can be present to others with sincere love and a hearing heart. Why is this? God designed us fully equipped with two ears, a keen mind, and a heart that was designed for fellowship, for hearing the Lord. “My sheep hear my voice, and I know them, and they follow me” (John 10:27).
5. My spirit desires to hear God, but needs permission from my will. This goes back to the phrase in the verse, “let him hear.” I am connecting the word “let” with the idea of permission, and it’s consistent with the fact that we often have an ongoing inner dialog, or silent conversation, with ourselves. Here’s the idea: In our inner dialog with ourselves, the will gives permission to the spirit—to hear. If this idea of permission is correct, it appears that Jesus assumes that the inner spirit of the individual wants to hear God. So for me to apply this verse, my will says to my spirit, “Go ahead, I give in, I give you permission: Listen to the Lord.”In effect, I (my will) say to my inner self (my spirit), “let him hear.” This is an act of deep intentional hearing, a key to opening the door of my heart with intent to obey. This is real soul-work, I believe. It takes self-awareness, a disciplined prayer life, and lots of practice. And it takes faith to do this. Faith that God is speaking, faith that his Word is reliable, faith that he is for me, faith that I can discern and distinguish his voice from strangers.
I admit, as I continue exploring this meditation on hearing, I feel like a novice. Lord, help me.
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“He who has ears to hear, let him hear.” Obviously, this applies to all of life, but what does it mean for cross-cultural partnership? For now, I’ll mention just this: Cross-cultural partnership is more about building relationships—serving and knowing one another in love, respect and humility—than about getting stuff done. What do you think?
“Thank you, Mission ONE team, that you have blessed us”… These sentiments were expressed over and over again by the 18 couples that attended the Mission ONE marriage retreat in Thailand during March 9-13, 2009. The retreat was designed to encourage, strengthen, honor, and refresh the leaders of Mekong Evangelical Mission (MEM), Mission ONE partner in Southeast Asia. Heartfelt worship, sweet fellowship, honest sharing, and lots of laughter highlighted the week. God uses your prayers and support to make events like this possible. Rejoice with us! Here are just a few of the participants’ comments:
“We have learned to be good listeners. In the past, we have did not put to use these principles in our marriage. Mostly, we expected the other person to listen to us.”
“Unresolved issues in our marriage were discussed by the two of us, and we amended those broken relationships. We forgave each other and got rid of things between us.”
“We have learned that a holy and sanctified marriage life is important in leading others to salvation. Solving problems must be intentional.”
“Because of the retreat, we learned to trust God together as marriage partners in confronting obstacles in our lives.”
“The advice for marriage was based on the Scripture and all of the speakers had real-life experiences from which to share. The marriage retreat gave us the best/happiest time in our marriage life in the 10 years of our marriage.”
“We learned that we must be open and let God heal our wounds.”
“After hearing from the speakers, we realized that we all face similar problems. The difference between each marriage is how each couple views their problems and reacts to them.”
“We learned that in our marriage, we must fear God and honor each other. Because of the retreat, we love each other more.”
“Thank you, Mission ONE, for this opportunity that you have given to us—the rest for just the two of us that we were never going to get if someone did not give this opportunity to us.”
“Thank you for all the encouragement that the Mission ONE team has given. We feel close to you. We now want to make our marriage a model for others to follow …”
“Thank you, God, for Mission ONE and their supporters for making the retreat possible. We are grateful for the gift of the retreat that we have received. Words cannot express how thankful we are.”
Note: This is an excellent case study of an investment in a healthy cross-cultural partnership; this marriage retreat represented far more than an investment of funds. This was about strengthening bonds, building for the future, healing relationships, and protection from attacks of the enemy. According to Dr. Chansamone Saiyasak, Director of Mekong Evangelical Mission, the marriage retreat had an impact on the entire “culture” of the organization. Since all ministry involves communication skills, developing new or deeper listening skills became a catalyst to improve every facet of MEM’s ministry. Praise the Lord. –Werner Mischke
He who has ears to hear, let him hear.
–Matthew 11:15
One of the critical skills for effective cross-cultural partnerships is empathic listening: “hearing with your heart.” [1] The purpose of this blog post and the two or three that will follow is to show you what this means. Below is a 14-minute video with Alan and Pauly Heller of the ministry Walk&Talk, entitled “Alan & Pauly Heller … On Listening.” You may be thinking, “Fourteen minutes! Are you kidding? I don’t have that much time!”—which probably proves why you need to watch this video. I believe there is no more important skill in today’s world of global Christian mission and ministry, than the art of slowing down … listening well … hearing with your heart—in relationship to people and to our Lord. This is why an entire set of lessons is devoted to listening in The Beauty of Partnership learning journey.
Alan & Pauly Heller participated in a marriage retreat sponsored by Mission ONE in Thailand in March 2009. This was done to serve Mission ONE’s ministry partner, Mekong Evangelical Mission (MEM), directed by Dr. Chansamone Saiyasak. Eighteen Christian leaders from Thailand and Southeast Asia attended with their spouses. Alan & Pauly shared their ministry of training couples in specific listening skills—to help them connect heart-to-heart with one another. The marriage retreat had a huge impact on all those who participated—and even on the whole ministry of MEM. In the video below, you will see the crux of what Alan & Pauly taught in the marriage retreat in Thailand.
In tomorrow’s blog you will see pictures from the marriage retreat and comments reflecting the results. So come back tomorrow. Enjoy…
One of my favorite books of all time is Discipling Nations: The Power of Truth To Transform Cultures, by Darrow Miller with Stan Guthrie. Today I was able to re-read a couple chapters on the plane. I found the passage below on page 225, and there in the margin I have a note in bold yellow highlighter: “I LOVE THIS!” …
As we have seen in previous chapters, we are not to be God’s mindless lackeys, although that in itself would be more than we deserve. No, God has given us the unfathomable privilege of being co-creators with Him. Man, made in God’s image, is given the awesome task of bringing forth all the potential of creation. Man is the source of earth’s bounty as well as its poverty. As the sovereign God’s vice-regents, we are stewards for His household, coworkers in His kingdom, caretakers of His garden, builders of His city, and actors in His story. In some ways, like our Master, we transcend nature. Of course, He is completely above the natural order, while we live in it and in some sense are bound by the universe’s physical processes. Yet the minds God has given us allow us to move ahead, to leap over barriers, to devise new ways, to solve problems. As Novak has said, “Creation is full of secrets waiting to be discovered, riddles which human intelligence is expected by the creator to unlock.” Created “a little lower than the angels,” we have a task to perform, a purpose to fulfill.
While our creatureliness binds us to nature, God’s image stamped on us allows us to move beyond the physical reality we see daily. We can dream of a better world and then begin to make it happen. Where there is darkness we can create a lightbulb, where there is desert drill a well, where mountains are barren plant a forest, where people are forgotten and ignored set them free through the power of the gospel, where people are ignorant build them schools and libraries, where the land is wasted plant a garden, where people are sick develop a cure, where there is silence hear the music and play it. Man is the discoverer, explorer, innovator, creator, and composer.
Don’t you love this sacred, exalted view of man created in the image of God? I love this because it explains the entrepreneurial nature of humankind. It explains my nature and desire to create!
With the Mission ONE Ambassador Program, I am looking for entrepreneurial leaders who are willing to be trained to be a successful advocates for a cross-cultural partnership ministry—who want to partner with outstanding indigenous Christian leaders to bring blessing to the hopeless, who want to change the world for the glory of God, through the glory of the Gospel. You’ll be trained through The Beauty of Partnership learning journey. It costs a lot. It is tremendously challenging, adventurous work. Are you a Christian entrepreneur or entrepreneurial leader looking to get into God’s Story in a fresh and effective way? Write me at werner@mission1.org.
My mission trip to visit Mission ONE’s ministry partner in the Middle East
in May 2009 has these favorite memories
I remember learning together with mostly first-generation, Muslim-background believers—in a one-day Bible study—“Honor and shame in the book of Philippians.” It was so rewarding to observe some of the believers make profound discoveries about seeing their own cultural values of honor and shame reflected in Scripture. One woman overcame feelings of shame concerning her faith in the Jesus—by the truth of God’s Word—and became much more free and bold in sharing Christ with others.
I remember laughing a lot (A LOT!) with my Arab Christian friends as I tried to pronounce a certain name in Arabic—in a feeble attempt to show respect for their language. The name was not an Arabic name, and as I pronounced it, I soon learned that with my pronunciation, it meant “stinky.” Hilarious.
I remember during a Sunday gathering in a picnic setting, I further explored the “honor and shame” theme with our ministry partner and their first-generation believers. “And how are they to preach unless they are sent? As it is written, How beautiful are the feet of those who preach the good news!” (Romans 10:15). The principle is this: Sharing the good news of the gospel is so honorable and wonderful in the eyes of God that it transforms the feet of the one preaching into beautiful feet! (Note: In that culture, feet were often thought of as dishonorable or associated with servitude and shame; see Psalm 8:6, Psalm 110:1, Matthew 10:14, John 13, Ephesians 1:22, etc.)
We stayed at the home of the father and mother of our ministry partner. I found this very classic Arabic home to be a place of peace and honor. The father is an elderly and much-honored Christian leader. He had many years ago given up his career with the government and began to follow Jesus. This gentle man is a man of great peace and great prayer. He rises early every morning for an extensive time of prayer. He also loves to tell people about Jesus. Not long ago, he led a religious leader from his neighborhood to Christ. Now, he is discipling this man and his immediate family—along with some extended family members who have become followers of Jesus.
For some time, I had been talking with our ministry partner about a special gift to honor his father. So on the drive to his father’s home, we stopped at a shoe store and bought a pair of shoes for him. When we were sitting in their home courtyard listening to these great stories about his life with Jesus, I thought it would be a wonderful moment to give the gift. With tears, I quoted Romans 10:15, “…How beautiful are the feet of those who preach the good news!”—and we gave this gentle man of God a new pair of shoes, a joint gift from his son and me.
Are you interested in learning more about Mission ONE’s partnership with this ministry in the Middle East? Contact Werner Mischke.
Bishwa and Remila Kharmacharya are the leaders of an indigenous Christian ministry called Transformation Nepal. This is Mission ONE’s newest ministry partner. The following news comes from their last quarterly report (April–June 2009):
We ministered to Danuwars, Dalits, lower caste people, Newars, Chhetri, Brahmin and other mixed groups. In this quarter, 56 people accepted Christ, and 28 people got baptized. Also, 8 new churches have been planted in different parts of Nepal.
We were involved in different kinds of church planting, evangelism and leadership training. We did church visitation, house visitation and hospital visitation to meet with sick people. We were also preaching in different churches. We visited different church leaders to encourage them on what they are doing and we monitored their work.
We supported Pastor Sanukaji for pig raising as income generation project. We completed 3 sewing projects. We completed 4 adult literacy classes in June. These are the platforms to reach out and share the gospel.
If you are interested in learning more about the ministry of Transformation Nepal, please contact the Mission ONE Ambassador for Transformation Nepal, Ed Smith. You may also contact the Mission ONE office at 480-951-0900, or at info@mission1.org.
Reason #1: VISION. Bob Schindler, Mission ONE Founder/President and Werner Mischke, Mission ONE Executive Vice President, have a vision to make Mission ONE more of multiplication-oriented ministry. God has taught Bob and Werner a lot over the years. They want to inspire and equip others in the body of Christ about the practice of healthy cross-cultural partnerships.
Reason #2: NEED
OUR PARTNERS IN AFRICA, ASIA, & THE MIDDLE EAST: There are significant unfunded needs and opportunities among Mission ONE’s ministry partners. Mission ONE can be a lot more effective in developing new funds for its cross-cultural partnerships. Mission ONE Ambassadors will assist in alleviating these needs, developing deep friendships with key leaders of the ministry for which they are advocating, and developing resources to “help their dreams come true for the glory of God.” This is already happening with Ed Smith, Mission ONE’s first Ambassador. Ed is the Ambassador for Transformation Nepal, and is volunteering as an advocate for this highly effective ministry. Our goal is that every partner ministry of Mission ONE in Africa, Asia, and the Middle East will have their own highly-skilled Ambassador to befriend and advocate for their work of evangelism, church planting and holistic ministry.
LOCAL CHURCHES: Thousands of local churches are taking short-term mission trips and getting into partnerships. Large numbers of individuals and churches are making mistakes they don’t need to make, “reinventing the wheel,” while hurting the cause of Christ—for a lack of training in cross-cultural partnerships. The Beauty of Partnership learning journey meets a need for training concerning cross-cultural partnership.
STEWARDSHIP: We believe that the resources of the Lord’s church could be invested much more effectively for world missions. People, time, money, prayer—all could go so much further in global missions—if done with the proper integration of three key areas: godly character, cultural intelligence, and organizational competence. These three areas form the core of The Beauty of Partnership learning journey.
Reason #3: UNIQUE ABILITY. Werner Mischke has a unique combination of skills to champion this—with overlapping passions in graphic design, world missions and teaching.
Reason #4: TRACK RECORD. Mission ONE has had success developing and promoting a missions curriculum—the Operation WorldView Video Series (produced by Werner Mischke)—which has been used in some 600 churches. In addition, Mission ONE has had a leadership role in serving the greater national missionary movement through its involvement with COSIM: Coalition on the Support of Indigenous Ministries. Werner Mischke served as chairman of the steering committee for from 2004–2009. Bob Schindler has served as a plenary speaker at COSIM conferences on a number of occasions.
Reason #5: UNTAPPED POTENTIAL. There are many under-challenged entrepreneurial individuals and churches whom God can use to serve as advocates for healthy cross-cultural partnerships, if they could only get the training. Many successful Christian entrepreneurs are marginalized in the Great Commission enterprise, and yet, these entrepreneurial individuals have many of the qualities needed for effectiveness in world missions—because they are already professionally skilled, creative, team-oriented, and missional in their abilities. But without additional training, they can easily falter in the work of cross-cultural partnership.